When you make a mistake, say "I'm sorry."

Before I was a teacher, I was a nail technician. It was a super, fun job. I had many clients but really they were more than clients; they were family. We celebrated together births of children, marriages, new houses and listened and comforted each other during life's hardships. They became part of my circle and I looked forward to every appointment.
One morning, when Graci (our oldest) was little, I was having a particularly rough day- already. Nothing was going right, I couldn't find my keys, and we were LATE. The ultimate trifecta in a recipe for a bad day. The chaos of the morning had turned me into an order-barking-dictator and it wasn't pretty. Get dressed, now! Stop playing! WE. ARE. LATE. Hurry! Hurry! HURRY! GET DRESSED!





Graci went into her bedroom and soon came out in something I had not laid out for her to wear. I had laid out a sweet, little sundress, lacy socks, and a pair of mary jane shoes. She came out in a t-shirt, skirt, and cowboy boots.
That's not what I laid out.
I know, mom, but don't I look pretty? She did a spin on one leg to show her off her skirt.
FINE! Let's go! WE ARE LATE!

Not until I had dropped her off and had settled into my day did the weight of the morning's exchange fall on me. I couldn't shake it. Why didn't I tell her she was pretty? Guilt consumed me.

My next client came in and right away she could tell something wasn't right with me.
Ok, first off, good morning. Big smile. Now, what's going on with you? Concerned face.
I began to sob. Mamas, I sobbed. Not a single-rolling-tear-down-the-cheek sob but a full on heaving-ugly-cry sob. She held my hand as I ugly-cried through the telling of my morning. She just listened with complete and total compassion in her eyes. When I was finished, she reached across the nail table and held my arms in her arms.
Erica, it's okay. You're a mom. That doesn't mean you are perfect.
me: sobbing
First off release this guilt. This guilt that's making you feel this way- release it. It will not serve you. Second, you made a mistake so say you're sorry. Honey, you're not perfect. You were in a rush and made a mistake. So tonight, when you get home, sit Graci down and say you are sorry. Tell her that of course you think she is always pretty, beautiful in fact. Tell her you love her hair and her spirit and the way she dresses. Tell her that because of her the WORLD is more beautiful.
me: continued sobbing
And lastly, honey, always, always say yes to wardrobe. It's not a fight worth having.
us: bursting laughter

I'll never forget this moment of pure humanness. It's not one of my proud moments as a mama but I wanted to share it because like Maya Angelo says, "...now that I know better, I do better."  

 When I make a mistake, I say I'm sorry AND I always say yes to wardrobe. :)

Stay strong, Mamas!